Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
