Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
