Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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