i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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