everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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