never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
