I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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