Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first