Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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