sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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