We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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