The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
