You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize