I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
