"it" just moved
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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