She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
