I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize