I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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