4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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