is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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