I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
