Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
