its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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