Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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