I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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