I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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