I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
