Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize