another moral hangover. fuck.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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