If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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