so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
