We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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