How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
