I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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