I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
