I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
