Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
