Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she told me i tasted like america
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
