Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
