Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just high enough for therapy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
