i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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