Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
