Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you will always have a special place in my vag
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
