Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
