I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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