It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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