She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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