We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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