Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
