How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
