then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
