fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
