a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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