garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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