yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize