4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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