If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
