So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
