And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize