what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You were trust falling into bushes
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
