So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
