I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
