I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
