Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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