I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
