We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
