he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Come see our sink grown plant.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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